christmasbarakat:

my dad is a cop and i just called him and he was like “hey i have a 17 year old boy in the back of my cop car right now that i’m running him to the station” and i asked if he was cute and my dad said “Hey, my daughter wants to know if you’re cute” and the guy said “i want to say yes, sir” and my dad started laughing so hard

(Source: ahcalamity, via expectopatronxm)

bloody-men-with-blue-eyes:

iatethelastofthecorn:

fandomacepilot:

Repeat after me kids:

A relationship does not have to be romantic and/or sexual to be important. 

image

(Source: aroharveyspecter, via expectopatronxm)

"Kiss her. Slowly, take your time, there’s no place you’d rather be. Kiss her but not like you’re waiting for something else, like your hands beneath her shirt or her skirt or tangled up in her bra straps. Nothing like that. Kiss her like you’ve forgotten any other mouth that your mouth has ever touched. Kiss her with a curious childish delight. Laugh into her mouth, inhale her sighs. Kiss her until she moans. Kiss her with her face in your hands. Or your hands in her hair. Or pulling her closer at the waist. Kiss her like you want to take her dancing. Like you want to spin her into an open arena and watch her look at you like you’re the brightest thing she’s ever seen. Kiss her like she’s the brightest thing you’ve ever seen. Take your time. Kiss her like the first and only piece of chocolate you’re ever going to taste. Kiss her until she forgets how to count. Kiss her stupid. Kiss her silent. Come away, ask her what 2+2 is and listen to her say your name in answer."

Azra.T “this is how you keep her” (via 5000letters)

(via padalesckii)

exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear:

erikloser:

stop taking bucky’s metal arm away

stop taking charles’ wheelchair away

stop taking clint’s hearing aids away

disabled superheroes are important stop sucking please

I read this wrong and I was just picturing them all confused as to who keeps taking their stuff.

"Steve have you seen my arm anywhere?"

"Nope, sorry Bucky.  By the way, have you seen Clint’s hearing aids?  He hasn’t been able to hear a damn thing all day"

(via expectopatronxm)

a-different-kind-of-royalty:

"What do you plan to do with your future?"

image

(via expectopatronxm)

zapidos:

My little brother and I were swimming and my dad walked out and said “it’s trash day tomorrow you know what that means” and my brother looked at me dead in the eyes and said “it’s time for you to go.”

(via expectopatronxm)

glenn-rhee-pizzaboy:

greatdarknoodleking:

adult’s movies: sex, explosions, yelling, cheap love story

kid’s movies: deep heart-wrenching death, moments where you question your own values, humor, adult jokes splashed in, the secret to the entire universe, sometimes explosions too

"I dunno man, kid’s movies are just kinda dumb"

have u ever watched a good adult movie or did u just watch transformers and think, ‘yep this is as good as it’s gonna get’

(via assbuttofasgard)

icecooly94:

teacupnosaucer:

whoneedsfeminism:

I need feminism because “Who hired a stripper” shouldn’t be the first thing said to me when I walk into a welding job.

women in trades are treated like absolute shit. 

NO I’M STILL STUCK ON THIS WHY WOULD ANYONE SAY THIS TO A WOMAN HOLDING A BLOWTORCH

icecooly94:

teacupnosaucer:

whoneedsfeminism:

I need feminism because “Who hired a stripper” shouldn’t be the first thing said to me when I walk into a welding job.

women in trades are treated like absolute shit. 

NO I’M STILL STUCK ON THIS WHY WOULD ANYONE SAY THIS TO A WOMAN HOLDING A BLOWTORCH

(via assbuttofasgard)

me yesterday night : lol who needs sleep
me today: i do. i need sleep.
me tonight: lol who needs sleep